


Someone Like You

by audreyslove



Series: Swingers [5]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 15:36:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13684611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audreyslove/pseuds/audreyslove
Summary: Mal shows up for an impromptu visit in Boston to celebrate Regina's birthday and to mourn the death of her relationship with Gwen.





	Someone Like You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [trinadeckers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trinadeckers/gifts).



Regina can sense something is wrong the moment the phone rings.  It’s like a second sense at this point, with Mal.  Like she’s connected to her through some invisible chord.  She been feeling uneasy the whole day, completely unsure of why, until the moment she sees Mal’s name pop up on her phone, she just knows.

She answers timidly, bracing for some catastrophic news.

“Regina, darling.  How are you doing?”

Mal’s voice is pep and spark, but there’s a forced vibrancy clinging to every syllable.

Something is wrong.  

“Mal…”

“You’ll never guess where I am,” Mal continues.  “Last minute trip, work called and I answered.”

Regina hears the faint sound of an intercom behind Mal’s voice, something that sounds familiar that she just can’t place.

“Where are you?” she asks.

“Well where are _you_ , Regina?  Please tell me you’re home.”

“I… yes, I’m home.  Robin too.  We’re staying in tonight.”

“Would you like any company?”

“I… would _love_ your company.  Are you in town?  And why—“

“Last minute meeting, thought I’d surprise you.   So, can I pop over?  Isn’t this the perfect birthday present?  I’m at the airport now.”

Well, yes, yes it is.

.::.

It’s been nearly four months since they’ve last seen Mal.  And _that_ is unusual. It’s just been so busy with Thanksgiving and Christmas, and they would have spent New Year’s with Mal and Gwen, except they booked a trip to Hawaii, and Robin wasn’t up for a long plane ride for a four day trip.

So it’s been awhile, and despite that feeling in her stomach telling her _something is wrong,_ Regina is understandably giddy to see her friend again.

She can tell her husband is excited as well, but he’s more apprehensive.  

“It’s not like her to do this, is it?  I mean she’s never surprised us before and she seems to love making plans in advance.” Robin muses as he cleans a few dishes from dinner.  “I mean, don’t get me wrong I am thrilled she’s coming over, just surprised."

Honestly, Regina has no clue what Mal is doing here, and she almost doesn’t care.  She’s _missed_ her.  Gwen and Mal last visited Boston months ago.  Regina and Robin have been planning on taking a trip to LA next month.  But it’s different now, because they have an extra person to consider.  Regina is, quite frankly, still getting used to Gwen being apart of Robin, Regina, and Mal. The three of them were never in a polyamorous relationship, but in the years since Robin and Regina opened their marriage, there’s always been a special connection between them and Mal.  And now there’s this new person, and she loves them together but she and Robin don’t have a special role in Mal’s life anymore, and she still misses that, sometimes.

So it’s nice to see Mal alone, now, all hers, all Robin’s.  That’s selfish, isn’t it?

Before she can dwell too long, there’s a knock on the door, and she trades her conflicted mood for one of pure elation as she rushes to open the door.

“Well hello, birthday girl,” Mal smiles at her in that reserved, coy way she has about her.  “I had a meeting _right_ down the street and couldn’t resist seeing if you were home.”

“Mal!” she says, wrapping arms around her.  Mal hugs her tightly back, pressing a kiss into her hair.  “Missed you, beautiful.”

“Missed you too,” Regina hums.

Her attention gets diverted by Robin it seems, who steals a hug and a kiss on the cheek from her, and tells her he wants to hear all about how things have been.

“How are we so lucky as to have you on the east coast?” Regina asks, plopping herself down on the couch and bringing Mal down with her.

“We have that client here— you know the one, and we were overdue for a catch up, so I set something up and just flew right out here to surprise you.  Thought it would be a nice birthday present.”

“Definitely my favorite present.” Regina smiles at her coyly.

“Always have to show me up,” Robin mutters in faux annoyance.  Mal winks at him.

“So tell me everything I’ve missed in Boston for the past few months,” he says excitedly.

Robin and Regina tell her a few stories of their excursions, new clubs that have opened, new restaurants they’ve enjoyed, new friends they’ve made.  

And it becomes obvious that Mal isn’t trading stories of her own.

Maybe she thinks Regina doesn’t want to hear something about her and Gwen.

Maybe they are engaged.  Or even married.  Maybe  _that_ is the real purpose for this trip, to tell them her that she’s made the next step without Gwen there next to her.

“So,” Regina says, trying say calm and nonchalant.  “Where’s Gwen?”

“Back in LA, I suppose,” Mal says with a shrug, sipping from her cocktail.

“How have you two been doing lately?” Robin asks, narrowing his eyes a bit.  

Again Mal shrugs and admits, “oh, that, whole thing.  That didn’t work out. Regina, could I trouble you for a glass of wine?  Robin’s made this a bit too heavy on the whiskey, light on the lemon for me to indulge in right after a big flight.  I asked for a whiskey sour, not a whiskey with a twist.”

Regina’s jaw drops to the ground.

Well.

 _That_ was unexpected, wasn’t it?

Mal hands the cocktail back as if her inability to drink it is the only big revelation she just made.

She looks back at their gaping faces and cringes.  “Sorry, Robin, you know I usually _love_ your drinks but—“

“What do you mean it didn’t work out?” Regina asks, sitting next to her, while Robin grabs Mal’s cocktail glass and works towards trading it in for a wine glass.

“You know, it fizzled out, we fought, it ended.” Everything she says is covered in thin veneer of disinterest, as if she’s trying hard to make herself sound boring and disinterested, but there’s something in the way her lip quivers ever-so-slightly, the way her eyes shift down to the floor for a split second that betrays the whole charade.

Regina doesn't know what to think.  She’s still getting used to Mal being so in love with someone else.  She’s been telling herself over and over again that she ought to be happy for her, Gwen is wonderful.  But she's lost a few things she used to have with Mal, in the way.  She and Robin  _both_ have.  And it's hard sometimes. 

But, frankly, despite those feelings, she finds she really _likes_ Gwen.

“I… why didn’t you tell me earlier?  What did she do to you?  God, Mal—”

“She didn’t do anything; the relationship outgrew itself, that’s all.” Mal says clearly, reaching for the glass of wine Robin is now offering her.  “And well, it’s not like I told you when things fizzled with Ruby, or Kristoff, or—”

“Mal,” Robin says warmly sitting down.  “Now come on, that’s different.  You two lo—“ he pauses seeing something in her face, it seems, reconsidering his words, and finishes with, “lived together.  This is a big deal.”

“Where is she staying now?” Regina asks, thinking of Mal’s modern, lovely home that Gwen had moved into, remembering the day Mal told her about _that_ happening.  

She loves that condo. There had been a tingle of misplaced possessiveness when Mal told her Gwen was moving in.  But mostly she had been happy for her.  If Mal was going to settle down with someone, she was glad it was Gwen, anyway.

“Oh, I’m not quite sure,” Mal says, “We haven’t really talked about it.  We fought, it ended, and I decided to give her her space, so I walked out.” She smiles weakly.  “And then treated myself to an overnight at a lovely spa downtown, and planned this trip the next day.  I assume she’ll have plenty of time to move out, or she won’t and I’ll make my own accommodations when I return. I suppose she can take a few months to find a new place, I have no shortage of places to stay, so…” she takes a sip of the chilled white wine and smiles.  “Robin, this is _really_ good.  Have you been keeping stock of my favorites?”

“Maybe,” he concedes.  He looks nervous, unsure what to say.

“Mal,” Regina almost groans.

“Mm?” she asks as if she has no idea what could possibly be the matter.  

“It’s okay to admit you’re hurting.”

Mal snorts, but takes another deep sip of her wine.

“Seriously,” Regina says, tucking a lock of Mal’s hair behind her ear.  “You loved her, and you just broke up.  It’s still fresh.”

“I’d be a mess,” Robin says softly, “If Regina and I—“

“We were not like _you_ ,” Mal bites back, almost insulted by the implication. “Don’t compare us like that.  You two are… annoying perfect for one another.  Gwen and I…”

“Are the same,” Robin finishes for her cautiously.  “Whatever you see in us, I’m fairly certain I see the same in you two.”

Mal groans, and buries her head in her hands.  “Don’t say _that. That_ is cruel.  It just means I had something perfect and I fucked it all up.  Tell me she was awful for me, or something.”  She looks up at Regina, “Regina?”

“Tell me what happened,” Regina says calmly.  “Come on, I know you want to talk about it.”

She groans and mutters, “I don’t, actually,” looking up at her with a little pout. Still, she sighs in defeat, rubs her hands over her thighs, and breathes out, “Her parents came to visit.”

“Oh.” Regina cringes, and she carefully draws a hand over her back. She knows a bit about Gwen’s parents.  They are conservative Catholics.  Definitely had problems with Gwen’s sexuality.  But… she thought that had mostly been handled.  Gwen had told them about Mal in no uncertain terms, and they had been… well, determined to accept their daughter’s choice.

Regina had thought that, any way.

“They are horrible to her.  Her mother picks at every damn thing Gwen does, they pull this guilt trip, say she abandoned her heritage by changing her name, and insisted on calling her by the _name she was born with_ —“

“What name is that?” Regina asks.  She always thought Gwen was short for Gwendolyn, but come to think of it, that’s not a very Portuguese name, is it?”

“Guilaine,” Mal pronounces carefully.

“Well,” Regina smiles, “I like that, but I imagine people having trouble with the pronunciation.”

“I told her people would learn to say it correctly it if they were worth a damn, it’s her name and people should take the time to learn it… but she doesn’t _like_ it, Regina.  She’s never liked it.  It never felt like _her_.  It's just a bit too flowery.  So she should get to shorten it however the fuck she wants.  So she’s Gwen.  Except for last weekend when it what Guilaine, as her parents informed everyone Gwen came into contact with.”  Mal growls, almost protectively, then grabs the bottle of wine from where Robin has placed it on the coffee table and gives herself another generous pour.

“And her parents make a look whenever we touch, so I  can’t even… she’s so tense, she can’t even behave _normally_ with them.  Sometimes I just want to touch her, stroke her arm, and she pulls away..."  Mal scowls, and then breathes out a huff of air.  "It's not just about that.  Her father demeans her job, yells at her for the slightest thing, with these little biting comments about how he wishes she were more _successful_ and he had all these _hopes_ for her.  And then her mother, every little thing she wears, cooks, eats, does… it’s all wrong.  And they _hurt_ her, she was in near tears when they asked her if this was all she had planned for her life.  And then her mother said at least she had direction when she had Arthur in her life—“

Regina winces, thinking of the abusive boyfriend that has caused her so much pain in the past.

“Bitch,” Robin bites.  

“That’s what I said,” Mal jumps in.  “Amongst other things.  I told them to get the fuck out of house, and that they weren’t welcome until the could respect their daughter.” She shrugs, gulping at the wine.

“Oh, Mal…” Regina sighs.

“Well _someone_ had to stand up for her,” Mal grouses.  “But apparently she enjoys being treated like crap, because as soon as her parents left she started yelling at _me._  Apparently I had no right to _throw her parents out of our home,_ and no right to _curse and name call her mother._  I disagree. So…” Mal shrugs, leaning back into the couch cushions.  “That is that.”

“Wait, what do you mean _that is that?”_ Regina asks, confused.

“Why subject myself to the torture of watching someone I lo—” she coughs, amends, “someone I _cared_ about being berated like that?”

“ _Believe me,_ I understand the desire to tell cunty mothers where to stick their barely concealed purposefully hurtful insults,” Robin speaks up, and Regina feels her cheeks heat and her breath catch.  He speaks with passion, and she thinks of the many times Cora has cut her down and he has quietly fumed over it for days.  “But it’s her parents, Mallory.  As hurtful as you find it, Gwen still loves them.  So you have to let her deal, on her own terms.  And be supportive.”

Mal shakes her head.  “I just can’t understand why someone would want people like that in their lives. I can understand why Regina puts up with Cora,” she qualifies, turning to Regina.  “She’s a horrible bitch, but you do it because you love your dad, and—“

“No,” Regina says softly, taking in a deep breath.  “Partly, yes, but… I love her, too.  Despite everything she still… she’s still my mother.”

Mal looks like a glass of cold water has been thrown in her face.  She sighs.  “I don’t understand.  If my mother ever showed her face again I’d tell her _exactly_ where she should go.  Fuck her.”

Mal’s mom abandoned her family when she was 14, and Regina thinks it’s a bit different, living with a neglectful, selfish mother as opposed to an oppressive overbearing type, like she and Gwen have.  But she doesn’t want to point out differences in their situation.

“Not everyone thinks the way you do,” she reminds.

“Well, it doesn’t really matter,” Mal mutters, rubbing her hand on her temple.  “Because after that, we had a pretty epic fight, and well, we’ve _never_ fought like that.  She said I was too protective.  That I don’t listen and just do what I think is right in these situations without considering her feelings.” She shrugs her shoulders.  “Fuck her.”

Regina bites back a smile.  “You are... um, you have a tendency to—”

“Fuck you, Regina.  I’m aware.  But clearly Gwen doesn’t like that,” Mal shrugs.  “And so fine.  It wasn’t meant to be.”

“It’s just something to work on,” Regina soothes.  “No one says you have to be perfect, you just try to do it less, for her.”

Mal rolls her eyes, but she look a bit raw now, a bit hurt.  “If someone is hurting her, I’m going to hurt them back.  That won’t change.”

“I’m confused,” Robin interjects.  “This sounds like a fight, not a breakup.”

“She doesn’t like the person I am, and fuck her if she thinks I’m changing,” Mal says plainly.  “I’m not going to wait around until she picks her idiot parents over me.  They don’t like me.  They were never going to like me unless I changed, so they were going to win, eventually.  So… why fight it?”

“Who says she will do what they want?” Regina asks.  She thinks of her own mother, her quiet father, their disappointment over the man she picked, her career, her… everything.  It hurts, god sometimes it still hurts.  But she made her choice, doesn’t regret it.  And over time her mother's bites sting less and less.  “She’s already proven she doesn’t do what her parents want.  She’s dating you, not Arthur.  She spent months in Brazil living as a hippie, staying in convents and hostels.  I’m sure that wasn’t in her parent’s plan.  But she did it anyway.”

“Yeah,” Mal sighs.  “But that had an expiration date.  She knew a time could come when she could come home and be forgiven for her transgressions.  And I guess I’m just sick of worrying what _our_ expiration date is.”

“How did things end?” Robin asks,  “I mean where did you leave it?”

“She said if this was going to work, I was going to have to let her handle her parents, because she wants both me and her parents in her lives.  And I said then it clearly wasn’t going to work, and… that’s it.”

“If she wants her parents in her life—” Robin starts, but Mal only groans.

“Even if I shut my mouth my presence alone would run them off, especially since I kicked them out.  She can have her parents or me.  Not both.”

“I don’t think that’s true.” Robin says slowly.  “Regina has both, and Cora didn’t care for me at all for me at first.”

“Well her parents are different than Cora, I suppose.” Mal groans.

Regina resists the urge to delineate the many number of ways that Cora has been similarly cruel, but Mal knows them.  And now is not the time.  

But she is still confused on where things left off, so she presses on.  “So you had this fight and then, the next morning you talked about breaking up?”

Mal now shares her puzzled expression.  “I told you how it ended.  She said what she needed for this to work, I told her it wasn’t possible, and it’s the last I’ve talked to her.”

“You’ve been dating for well over a year,” Robin says softly.  “Break ups don’t happen after one night of fighting.”

“Well, for me they do.” Mal says softly.  “It’s over, and look, I am so tired of thinking about it and talking about it, can we please just… can we all pretend it’s not a big deal?  That would be wonderful.  Just focus on the birthday girl and pretend Gwen doesn’t even exist?  I just…”  her expression goes soft, vulnerability leaking out from every pore, eyes, become watery and wide.  “I really need not to think about it right now, I need to not care about it anymore, I don’t want to—”  Those watery eyes overflow, and a few tears fall out.  “-Shit!” Mal exclaims, wiping away the evidence of how much she _does_ care, “I can’t deal with these feelings right now, I need you guys to just keep me distracted.”  She looks up at Regina, apologetic as ever.  “I know it’s your birthday, you don’t need to be dealing with me right now.  It wasn’t my intention when I came to visit.”

“I know,” Regina assures.  “I don’t mind.  I’m here for you.”

“Can we go out and try to salvage this night?  Go out drinking or… something.”

Regina looks over to Robin, who nods.

“You could borrow one of my dresses, we could go to that new lounge down the street?”

Mal frowns.  “I want to dance.  Can we go to Havana?”

Regina looks at her hopeful little smile, the way her perfect white teeth dig into her full red lips.  They have a lot of memories at Havana, _sexy,_ fun memories.

Regina suddenly _really_ wants to go dancing, too.  She looks up at Robin again, eyebrows raised in question, suddenly feeling like she should be apologizing.

He had wanted a night in today.  _They_ had wanted a night in.  It’s something she finds he craves more now, simple domestic intimacy, a meal at home, passionate, soft vanilla sex, cuddling… it’s… not something she usually  lets herself admits she loves.

But Mal is here, and there’s nothing wrong with taking a rain check on takeout and Netflix.  And they are still celebrating her birthday, after all, so she knows Robin will be more than happy with whatever she wants.

Sure enough, he answers her apologetic look with a bright smile and a nod.

She turns to Mal and winks.  “Well come on, let’s head up to my closet and find you something to salsa in!”

.::.

There’s so much running through his mind tonight that he really hope he can drown everything out with this whiskey.

He loves Mal.  So, so much.  More than because she’s a supportive, loving friend to Regina.  More than because she supports him, herself, and has been a great friend to him.

He loves Mal in a confusing way, one that’s hard to describe but also not entirely uncommon of those in the lifestyle.  She’s special to him, there’s a connection there.  It’s not as strong as the one he has with his wife, and probably not as strong as the connection Mal and Regina have with _one another,_ but it’s there, all the same.  He may not be _in_ love with her, but it’s an intense feeling, and he’s not without his own need to protect her, without his own thoughts of jealousy, his own desire to keep her close.

Gwen has been an interesting addition to this relationship, though.  She _fits._ And he loves the way she treats Mal, the way Mal acts around her.  He likes her, and them, quite a bit.  

And something feels so _off_ about this whole thing tonight.  He can’t place why, it just doesn’t feel right without Gwen here.  He feels for her, feels for Mal, the whole thing hurts him.

Normally he would have kissed Mal, by now.  Regina would have, too.  Maybe not before, when she was crying on their couch, but now, as she twirls and shakes in Regina’s red dress, her cleavage nearly spilling out of her dress.  She looks _gorgeous,_ and she’s sexy, and free, and rubbing against him in a way that’s so seductive.

He wants her, badly, wants to take both her and Regina to bed, or really, even in the backseat of a car, at this point.  But there’s something that has been making him uneasy, a bit unsure about whether should take things there, and he’s not sure why.

Maybe it’s that she’s just been emotionally compromised and he’s not used to seeing Mal upset, ever.  She’s always the one comforting _them,_ and he saw her crying just a few hours ago, and it still makes his heart ache.

He doesn’t want this if she’s still sad, pushing herself to enjoy something she’s not emotionally ready to do.  He had been worried, earlier, that she might not be not in the best frame of mind to do this.

But the drinks are helping ease his mind.  The way Mal fits into Regina’s dress (or doesn’t fit, so to speak) has been very popular with a bartender, and she’s been getting served for free all night.  She’s been drinking several gin and tonics herself, but sharing a few with Regina.  Even she hands Robin his third bourbon on the rocks, in the haze of dancing, feelings of lust and love swirling around, he leaves his worries for a bit, loses himself in the company surrounding him.

Mal is a little tipsy already, the alcohol has lightened her, and he knows it’s put her into a genuinely good mood, made her flirtatious, giggly, and fun.  She’s dances with Regina, and Robin, both together, then off with new partners.  She exchanges glances when a thin leggy blonde pulls Robin in for a dance, she and Regina both watching as he flirts and dances with a _third_ beautiful woman.  

It seems to kick things up a little, bring the night back to where it would usually be.  Regina and Mal do sometimes like this, like to watch.  Sometimes they will have nights where all he does is flirt and dance and fondle Mal, Regina never touching him, just watching them together. He’s been guilty of the same.  It’s… well, an interesting with the three of them.  There’s an aspect of possessiveness, a little bit of belonging, but there’s also trust.  And they like to play with that, to watch the person that belongs to them flirt and bring another to their knees. On occasions when he’s watched Regina or Mal do it he’s felt oddly… proud.  And he assumes they feel the same.

So he plays it up, flirts a little with the cute blonde named Kate.  Even buys her a drink and chats her up.  It’s not serious, the girl isn’t really falling for him, so he doesn’t worry about leading her on.  They are splitting a drink, chatting about getting used to a new city (she’s from Miami, it’s not exactly the culture shock he had, coming from Essex, but he gets it).  She speaks of sunny weather, and the beach, starts stroking up his arm, tilting her head and looking at him in a way that he knows means he should kiss her.  He sees Regina and Mal behind her, throwing him teasing little smiles.

He has the permission he needs.  He’s rather be with Regina and Mal now, but he finds he doesn’t mind giving his wife a show.

So he lets himself look at Kate, really look at her, enjoy the way her light looks against her tanned skin, her legs (she’s thin, thinner than he usually likes, but there’s something appealing about her legs, shapely, muscular), her lips (colored light pink, glistening with gloss he thinks.

But most of all he thinks of how Regina and Mal are watching, and _that_ is the real excitement.  

They keep looking, between grinding up on one another at any chance they have between complex salsa moves, whispering and smiling, trading small touches, and god they are so hot together...

His sudden burst of sexual energy is misinterpreted by his dance partner, who rock into him, loops her arm around his neck, and she stops the complicated steps, pulls closer to him.  The air feels heavy, harvest between him, and he knows she’s waiting for him to kiss her.

He shakes his head, and whispers, “Kate, you’re a beautiful woman, but I am, well, married,” he points to his ring, as if to remind her he wasn’t hiding it, really, then shrugs politely. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“I’m not asking for your life story,” she assures.  “Just a little fun.”

Well then.

He smiles, cups at the back of her neck and draws her in.  She sighs into his mouth, lifts a leg almost scandalously around his waist, pulls him in tighter.

He feels the hands on his back before Kate pulls out of the kiss, looking confused and angry, staring behind him.

“Well, you two make quite the picture,” Regina coos.  Robin has to bite back a laugh.  God she’s cute when she’s possessive.

“Who are _you_?” Kate asks, her voice laced in annoyance.  

“Oh, I’m sorry, how terribly rude of me.  This is my wife,” he points at Regina, and Kate’s eyes go wide and apologetic.  But he doesn’t let her get too upset for long, motioning to Mal, who has moved over to his opposite side. “And this is my girlfriend.”

“And _my_ girlfriend,” Regina reminds.

“Of course,” Robin chuckles.

It’s Mal who leans in to kiss him first, a bit of marking her territory.  He takes her eagerly (god they haven’t kissed in awhile, months, he’s missed her terribly).  He gets lost in her for awhile, in the taste of gin on her tongue, the way she moves against his, the warm, tingling familiarity of her.  He tangles his hand in her hair, lets the other sit at the small of her back.  She’s a bit aggressive, she _wants_ it, and his mind is dizzy and sex addled, god he wants her now.

“I like watching you,” Mal admits as soon as she breaks out of the kiss, “and knowing that you’re mine.”

His cheeks heat at the admission, at the sentiment.  It might be something that makes more sense out of Regina’s mouth, but a part of him _is_ Mal’s too, at least tonight, at least when they are together.  

He kisses her in response, a slower, sweeter kiss, draws it out, plants another kiss on her forehead.  

Kate is long gone by the time he next looks up, but Regina is here, behind him (the fact she’s watching and enjoying them together is always a huge part of his enjoyment of his time with Mal, always has), and she is planting little kisses on his neck, rubbing her hand down his back to give his ass a subtle squeeze.

“Missed you both,” she whispers into his ear, before giving it a little nibble.

“God, me too,” Mal groans, almost frustrated, “it’s felt like it’s been forever.”

“You’re worked up,” Robin notes, letting his hands reach down to palm her ass.

“You are too,” she whispers, rocking into his groin.  Yes, he truly is worked up.

He only smiles and kisses that spot where her neck meets her shoulder, nibbles and laves it with his tongue.

She moans, her neck tenses and stretches to the left, and he can feel Regina there, tugging Mal into a kiss.

“There are a couple of things I want to do right now but this dress is in the way,” Robin whispers in to her damp flesh, tracing the plunging neckline.  On Regina it looks tantalizing, swoops down over her chest revealing skin between each breast.  But Mal has bigger tits, and they are pressed tightly together, snugly in the confines of the straining fabric.

He really, really wants to fuck her.  And there was a reason why he was holding back earlier but he can’t bring it in himself to care to remember why.

“There’s not much of it to be in the way,” Mal reminds him, and then she’s guiding his hand down, down, to the hem of her dress and urging him to slide between her thighs.

He does as directed, (Regina moans put a _Fuck)_ even gets two fingers underneath the lace of her underwear, groaning at the feel of her.

And Regina is kissing her, and Mal is wrapped around them both, and god he wants her home, in their bed.  Now.

“I love being with you,” Mal gasps, “it feels so nice.  Almost like… _god_ Robin, closest thing I’ll ever have to being loved.”

She’s still rocking into his touch, still sliding against him where he pressed firmly into her clit, but what she says has him crashing back into reality.

She’s hurting.

She’s broken-hearted and drunk, or she wouldn’t be saying such things.  She doesn’t believe in letting serious thoughts cloud their nights out, she’s said more than once it should be an _escape,_ that they should leave everything upsetting behind them.

And she can’t, she’s struggling.

“Darling,” Robin whispers, his voice soft, and sweet, but Mal shakes her head, cringing. as if she’s realized shes let something slip.

“No, don’t, just, please, can we just—”

“Let’s get out of here,” Regina suggests, trading a knowing glance with Robin.  “People are starting to stare, anyway.  And as much as I don’t mind giving them a show, we’re taking away the attention from the wannabe professional dancers who are working so hard for attention.”

Mal snorts, and nods, but her eyes are wet, and sad.  She starts to follow Regina, she’s walking on shaky legs, her ankle twisting in her heels before she leans a careful arm on Regina’s shoulder.  Robin winces.  Mal is drunk, and he almost took advantage of that.  Almost let flirtatious fun and dancing and tight red dresses disguise what is obviously in front of him.  And he’s lucky — so lucky — that  he was given a moment, a reminder to bring him back down to earth.

He’d never do anything to hurt her, never do anything to jeopardize the relationship that they have. He feels lucky he was able to pull himself back before he did something that could harm her in any way.

Thank god.

.::.

Regina feels the shift in the mood as soon as soon as Mal gets honest.

It’s like cold water in her face, waking her from a very vivid, very beautiful dream.

She glances at Robin, and she just _knows_ he feels the same.   

She doesn’t know why it suddenly all feels so wrong.  It’s not as if Mal hasn’t slept with Robin when he was upset before, specifically to cheer him up.  And that memory, the memory of them all together, between the sheets, and in the shower, kissing and rubbing and loving on him, doesn’t feel scandalous or _wrong_ , it feels so pure, so unadulterated.  As fresh and clean as soap and fresh linen sheets.

But there’s something wrong about being with Mal when things aren’t right between her and Gwen.  Well, they are broken up, aren’t they?  It doesn’t sound _permanent_ though, she can’t think of something so small ending that relationship.  

Even so… Mal has always had Gwen’s permission to be with Robin and Regina.  She’s said as much over text, hasn’t she?  So truly they aren’t doing anything wrong, so why does she feel like shit?

She thinks of how Robin would hurt, had they fought enough to tell one another that they were over.  And if she ran right from that pain into Mal and Gwen’s arms?  

He’d be hurt.

Hell, if she Robin had a nasty fight and considered divorce, and he ran off to the west coast to see Mal and Gwen for a good fuck? Just the thought makes her blood run cold.  It would make it seem like Gwen and Mal took sides, wouldn’t it?  Or at least, that they didn’t care enough about their relationship.  As if they didn’t respect it enough and were happy to play rebound.

It’d feel really shitty.

It might even be unforgivable. If she found out Robin fucked her friends days after a threatened breakup she’d be immeasurably hurt.

And Gwen would probably feel the same.

Regina isn’t made of stone.  She’s still kissing her during their ride home, still accepting the affection Mal is giving her, but she’s not going to fuck her.

And she knows Robin won’t either.

When they get back to their apartment Mal gets a bit more aggressive, pushing Robin against the wall and kissing him, and Regina has to ignore her rising libido, the fact that she physically aches to be with both of them.

“Mal,” Robin gasps, “Mal, love, let's slow it down.”

There’s hurt in her eyes almost immediately, a flicker of rejection, and Regina can’t even bare to see it.

“You two don’t want to—?” Her arms fall away from Robin, and she moves away, gives him space.

“Of course we want you,” Regina comforts, “I always want you.  It’s just that you’re not yourself tonight, and I don’t think it would be right.”

“We won’t get back together, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Mal grumbles, heading towards the couch.  She’s still a bit unsteady, more drunk than tipsy.  “It’s over.”

“That’s not all this is about.” Robin sits next to her on the couch, wrapping an arm around her.  “If you want this to stop hurting over her… I don’t think it’ll work, love.  I think it might just make you miss her more.  And I’m not prepared for that, I don’t want to do anything to make you feel anything but amazing.”

Mal groans and throws her head into her hands.  It’s such an uncharacteristic move of hers, but then Regina has never seen her deal with a broken heart before.

“I can’t believe this is happening to me,” Mal mutters into the floor. “I’m not supposed to be all weepy and ruining nights of fun, I’m so sorry, Regina, your birthday—“

“It’s okay,” Regina assures, sitting on her other side and stroking her back.  “I don’t think it’s over with Gwen, Mal.  It’s—“

“When her family is there I just feel… like I’m not enough.” Mal admits, her voice going reedy and weak.  “There’s so much to her, so much of her childhood that I don’t really understand.  And I just...” She looks up at Robin, and then at Regina.  “There’s a whole past to her I don’t really know.  And I keep finding out more about it and I worry we don’t truly fit.”

“That’s just part of knowing someone,” Regina whispers, “I learn more about Robin all the time.  You can’t just share everything all at once.” Robin gets up then, motioning to the kitchen, and she figured he’s going to make her something to drink or eat.  Something to potentially ward off the hangover.

”It’s different with you two.  I always feel accepted with you, I always feel like I _belong._ Everything new I discover, it doesn’t make me feel like I have to be a different person.  I never pretend to be someone I’m not, unless it’s for business.  And I can be that with you, and I thought her too.  But now I just feel like the person I am isn’t enough.  Like I want to be better for her.”

And Regina wants to tell her, yearns to, that she often feels that way with Robin.  Because she does, she does so often.  He makes her want to be more, to want to do all she can for his happiness, to take his aches away… anything.

Because when you love someone you always want to do more, be better.  It’s not about not being _enough._ It’s about loving someone so much you always want to be what they need, whenever they need it.  

Mal pauses and sigh, rubs at the back of her head.  “God I’m sorry, I need to go to bed.”

“Drink some water,” Robin says, handing her a fresh glass, plenty of ice, like Mal likes.

“Thanks,” she says with a smile, chugging the water.  “Do you have, um…have anything I could change into,” she looks down at her very tight dress with a scowl.  “I can’t sleep in this.”

“I’ve got it,” Regina says, pressing a kiss to Mal’s brow.

Regina excuses herself and picks out some comfy stretchy pants and an old college tee shirt for Mal.  It’s actually a shirt she’d like to see her in, pale grey, stretchy, with faded burgundy lettering around the chest.  It makes her nostalgic, reminds her of when they were together, when things were more simple. When she was too young to handle a real relationship, when she was just free to explore Mal’s body, to experiment, to feel, without thinking about consequences or hurt feelings.

That life is over now, though.  The protective bubble of college has popped and she can’t go back.

Regina slips out of her own dress and into comfortable sweats and a old tee shirt from an old bar she and Mal used to visit years ago.

And then she walks into the guest room with we clothes neatly folded.

Robin is in there, talking to Mal, and it seems a bit of an intimate conversation.  

“Ugh, Regina you’re a lifesaver, can you help me out of this dress?  You’re too tiny; I barely fit in this.”

“You fit just fine,” Regina says softly, undoing the zipper with a slow reverence she didn’t quite expect. “I love your body."

Mal laughs and shakes her head at the sentiment and toes out of her heels, sliding her dress off.  She’s dressed in a matching pair of lingerie.  Black and lacy bra with an equally frilly thong. “I was thanking Robin for helping me through this tonight.  And I wanted to tell you both...” Her eyes are a bit shiny, but not red, she hasn’t really been crying, not much.  “You know what, I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have come all the way here just to dump this on you.”

“You didn’t dump this on any of us, and you absolutely should have come.  You matter to us.  We love you.  You know that.”

But then her eyes well up with tears, eyelashes closing fast, but not fast enough to catch the tears from spilling.  She slips on the pajama bottoms Regina had laid on the bed, and unclasps her bra.  

It’s not sexual, watching her undress.  Not right now.  It just feels so domestic, intimate on a different level.  It’s a different kind of nudity now.  One where all her emotions are uncovered and on display.   And ordinarily they’d leave her, but something tells her Mal still wants to talk, that she still needs her here.  So she stays.

“I wanted to tell you that… this client I’ve been meeting with wants me to be his marketing liaison.” She explains quietly.  “He told me tonight.  He wants to poach me from the PR world.  Have people pitch their campaigns and ideas to me.  I’d be able to move back here.”

There’s a sea of conflicting emotions that swim over her.  Regina would _love_ to see her all the time, would love her to be on this coast, where she could just spend random lunches with her.

But.

“What did you say?”  Regina asks.  And Mal’s head ducks, averting her eyes.

“I said I’d think about it.” Mal says softly.  “It’s a big decision.  I might like being wooed for a bit instead of always having to sell my ideas, you know?  And I just… maybe it’s pathetic but…”  she flops down on the bed, and Regina lies down next to her, Robin perched at the other end.  “I’d like to be around here with you two.  Even if I won’t ever be what you guys are to one another.  I think no one will ever understand me the way you two do.  Or love me the way you two do.  I thought it was like that with Gwen, but…. It’s not.  It’s just you two.  You’re the only ones who don’t leave me, who still love me.”

“You’re easy to love,” Robin says, stroking her cheek.  “Believe me, I know.  And you could have your pick of nearly anyone in LA or Boston, for that matter.  But I don’t think you want to think about that right now.”

Mal doesn’t make a sound, but her head drops, and she curls against the pillow, nodding.

Regina pets her, runs fingers through her hair like she knows Mal loves.

For awhile there’s nothing.  No sound, no discussion.  Just gentle touches.

And then Mal crinkles her nose and lets out a frustrated sigh.

“I really fucking miss her.”

It’s a stab to the heart for Regina.  It’s an acknowledgement that Mal is hurting, she’s thinking about her, and Regina and Robin aren’t an adequate replacement.

“I know darling.” Robin whispers, as Regina presses a kiss into her hair.  “It’ll be better in the morning, you’ll see.  And if it’s not, we’ll make it better, yeah?  We’ll all spend the day together, go to that ridiculous brunch place you like—”

“You like it too,” Mal says sleepily.   “You love the bananas foster french toast, you liar.”

“God I really do,” Robin admits with a laugh.  He ducks down and kisses her forehead.  “Not as much as I love you though.  You know that, right?”

“Mhm,” she says, her eyes closed now.  “Love you too, really, I… I’m glad you married her.”

Robin laughs, and ducks down as she lifts her head up.  There’s an awkward angled peck on the lips, but it’s sweet, pulls at her heart strings.  She really loves how the two people most important to her care for one another, too.

And then Robin tells her he’s turning in for the night, that he’s had a bit too much to drink himself, and Mal is chuckling and telling him goodnight.

Regina stays for awhile though, still propped up on an elbow, next to her, a hand still playing in her hair.  

“You going to be alright tonight?” Regina asks.  “I’m more than willing to have a sleepover.”

“No, I am fine on my own,” Mal hums.  “Just, um, for awhile, can you keep doing that?”

Mal is referring to the way she’s stroking her hair, and Regina can’t help but chuckle at how cute she is.  She snuggles into her sheets, wiggling like a kitten as Regina pets her.

Mal falls asleep a few minutes later, her steady breathing like a familiar melody that Regina has missed.

.::.

She’s just brushed her teeth and gone through her bedtime ritual when she sees a text pop up.

It’s from Gwen.

_I know this is a strange question, but have you heard from Mallory recently?_

Regina groans and lies back in bed.  She _really_ shouldn’t be getting involved in this.

But when Robin comes out of the shower, he checks his phone and holds it up.  “Message from Gwen.”

“I know,” Regina sighs.  “It’s LA.  It’s only 10:30 there.  She probably forgot about the time difference.”

“Or she’s worried,” Robin sighs, sitting next to her in bed.  “If Mal really walked out on her like that, she’s probably got no idea where she is.”

Regina bites her lip and nods.  “We should call her.”

“ _You_ ,” Robin sighs.  “You should call her if you want.  Your decision.”

“I’m mad at Gwen,” Regina grumbles, giving voice to the feeling in the pit of her stomach.  “She shouldn’t have made Mal feel that way, she shouldn’t have hurt her.”

“Yeah,” Robin agrees.  “But I don’t think she meant to do that.  It happens sometimes.”

“Maybe they should just stay broken up,” Regina mutters.

“Regina…” Robin sighs, taking his spot on the bed, “Come here.”

Regina rolls her eyes in protest, but she was never one to refuse affection.  So she lays closer to him, lets him wrap his arms around her.

“I love her too,” he says just over a whisper.  “Maybe not as much as you, but an awful lot.  And I’d love her to be here all the time, I’d love her to move to Boston.  But only for the right reasons.”

And she knows that, she does.  She knows he’s right.

“And she’s good for her,” Regina sighs.  “She is, this past week aside, she loves her, I know it.”

Robin nods and presses a kiss to her cheek.  “Go call her.  I’ll be here.”

She kisses him and grabs her phone, while he rubs her back in steady, comforting strokes.

On the second ring, Gwen’s worried voice answers the phone.  “Regina, have you heard from her?  We had a fight and then she left and she hasn’t come back, and I’m—”

“She’s here,” Regina confirms slowly.  “She’s fine, she’s safe.”

“She’s in _Boston?”_ Gwen asks incredulously.  

“Yes she apparently booked some business and she’s here for a week.  She said you two broke up.” Regina admits. “She doesn’t think she could be enough for you.”

“I don’t want to break up with her, I love her.  It was just a fight but she has been gone so long, she should have talked to me,” Gwen snaps, letting out a string of fast words in her native tongue.  

“I think she’s…” Regina swallows thickly, trying to stop herself from losing her mind and crying.  For god’s sake, this is the right thing to say.  “I think she’s running away from a good thing.  You two should probably talk.”

“She won’t take my calls,” Gwen admits, her voice turns reedy.  “I miss her.  We _need_ to talk, you can’t just do this to someone you love, it’s cruel!”

“I think she knows that,” Regina sighs.  “But she’s a wreck and not thinking clearly.  You know how little she ever gets upset.”  

“I’m coming to Boston,” Gwen announces, and she can hear it, the tears, the fright in her voice.  “I can’t wait a week.  I need to see her, please.”

“That’s not necessary.”  Regina’s voice falters a bit.  God Gwen cares about her so, so much.

“You said she’s a wreck, and she thinks we’re broken up, Regina I can’t leave in that pain.  And she won’t talk to me on the phone but maybe in person—“ Gwen stifles a sob.

“We can try the phone tomorrow,” Regina offers.  “Maybe if I ask her—”

But Gwen cuts her off.  “Please, Regina, I just really have to see her.” She sounds so desperate.  

Regina looks at Robin, an unspoken question he seems to read.  He nods.  

“Alright,” she says, “If she won’t see you, I won’t make her, but if you want to come over—”

“Thank you,” Gwen breathes.  “Thank you so much.”

.::.

Mal is herself in the morning.  She dresses on the clothes she showed up in, rather early, and tells Regina she’s going to go to the hotel to change. It’s silly that she even got a hotel at all, really.  Of course they’d want her here.  

Around noon, she texts them and asks if they can do brunch.

So they do, a brunch that’s decidedly less boozy than usual (they’re all a bit hungover after all).  Mal is trying to keep happy, to keep things upbeat.  But it’s all a facade, and more than once Regina sees her voice falter, her face fall into a little pout.

“Do you want to come back home with us?  Watch something, just veg out for a bit?” Robin asks, running a hand through her hair.  There’s not much fun to be had on such a cold and dreary February, and well, they are hungover, so his suggestion seems like the best one.

“I’d love that,” Mal smiles, grabbing his arm and squeezing it.  “Thank you.”

It’s after three by the time they reach Regina’s home.  

“Can you get your money back on that stupid hotel and just stay with us?” Regina asks, “I miss you.”

Mal laughs, but shakes her head, leaning into her.  “I think this time I may need my own place.  In case I get mopey again.  I’m not repeating last nights pitiful display in front of you two.”

And speaking of last night…

“I need to tell you something,” Regina starts as they round the corner.  Because she _should_ tell her that her ex will be showing up… or, _not_ her ex, that’s the problem.  The woman she loves.  “You might not be very happy with me, but—“

She doesn’t need to finish her confession, because now there’s a clear view of the entrance to their apartment, and Gwen is all huddled up by the entrance, waiting.

Jesus, she must have got a flight immediately after hanging up with her.

Shit.  She should have told Mal earlier. And Gwen should have texted her the flight information.  Or at least warned her…

Or did she?  Regina hasn’t checked her phone in hours.

Because she didn't expect Gwen for a day at least.

She can _feel_ Mal’s anger before she even says a word.  

“You told her to come here?” She seethes, “Told her to come collect me?  What was last night so bad, taking care of me—“

“I love taking care of you,” Regina snaps back.  “You think it’s easy for me to talk to the woman you love and _hear_ how much she loves you and tell her that she can come to my home to try to fix things with you and take you back across the country with her?” Regina is suddenly furious.  Robin’s hand is on her back, a little reminder that she needs to calm down.  “Because it’s not easy, Mal, I don’t care how much time has passed, you’re still my…” Regina groans and sighs, because it’s not fair, it's not fair to feel like this  “But you love her and she loves you.  And she was so worried, she—“

“She was worried about me?” Mal asks, her face going soft and vulnerable, then hardening in defiance.  “No, I don’t believe that.”

“She said she couldn’t wait a week to see you.  She cares.” Regina says softly.  “I’m sorry, I had no idea she’d come out here overnight, I meant to tell you.”

“We should have guessed,” Robin says with a little chuckle.  “She thought she lost you, of course she was going to rush right over.”

“She has no right to call you and you had no right to tell her where I was,” she says, but there’s no heat to her words..

“She’s our friend too,” Robin reminds.  “And you said you miss her.  And love her.  She at least deserves a conversation.  But if you don’t want to, I’ll tell her to go, I’ll rush ahead and tell her you aren’t ready yet.”

“No,” Mal says too forcefully, too enthusiastically.  “Since she’s here, we might as well get it over with.”

Mal closes the distance between her and Gwen, slowly at first, biting her lip nervously as she takes each step.

When she’s in earshot Gwen is running towards her, obviously unable to wait any longer.

“Listen…” Mal says, but Gwen is in no mood to hear it.

“Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?”  Gwen asks angrily.  For a second Regina thinks she’s going to slap her, and she winces, an arm protectively reaching to stop her.

But Gwen throws her arms around her instead, hugging her tight.  “You walked out so upset and you never answered any of my calls or texts, and I called your work, and they told me you weren’t in, I thought—“

“I’m fine,” Mal grimaces.  “Did it ever occur to you that I just didn’t want to talk to _you?”_

Now Gwen looks like she just got slapped across the face, her mouth opening, lip quivering.

“Let’s take this inside,” Robin says, putting a hang on Gwen’s back.  “Come on now, you have to be exhausted.”  He walks with Gwen, ahead, while Regin and Mal stay behind.

“Mallory,” Regina admonishes, once Robin and Gwen have enough distance between them.

But one look at Mal has her rethinking the stern tone.  She looks lost, face screwed and tense, tightly trying to refrain from breaking into tears.  She’s trying to keep it together, trying not to show emotion, but she’s upset.  

“Give her a chance,” Regina says, now much softer.  “Don’t push her away just because you’re hurting.  It may feel good at the time, like you're protecting yourself.  But it’s not what you want.”

And to her surprise, Mal nods, and wipes at a tear, whispering “Fine.”

.::.

By the time Robin enters his home, he realizes he’s basically invited his two friends to come and have a fight about their relationship right on his couch.

How do you host, in this situation?  It’s nearly 4 PM, are cocktails appropriate?

And these thoughts are all silly distractions, god he’s nervous.

This whole thing has really taken a toll on him in a way he didn’t expect.

He hates breakups.  Real breakups, not the standard random dates you go on that taper off until you make a date to explain it’s no longer going to work.  Breakups, divorces, separations.  Where your lives are tangled and you have to separate every aspect of it.  He hates those types of breakups.

He remembers his mom, sobbing when his father left her.  He remembers the pain, and heartbreak, all of it.  

And Mal and Gwen don’t have children, but that doesn’t make a breakup any less painful does it?  It just means there are less people to share in the heartache.  

He and Regina don’t have children together, either.  And if he lost her he’d probably lose his mind as well.

And he thinks that’s what this is really about.  This pain in his chest that's been lingering since Mal told him she and Gwen were over.

He hates breakups.  He hates them because they make you feel so powerless.  He thinks of his mother, crying to her best friend, saying she didn’t know what she did.  Robin wasn’t supposed to hear that, he was supposed to be in bed.

But he heard it just the same and it always scared him.  Having it all end one day and not having any control.  Not even knowing what you did.

He feels for Gwen, he really does.  Mal too, of course.  But Gwen, the poor girl, she doesn’t even know what she did.

He thinks of his mother, sobbing in front of his stoic faced father months later and he cringes, then shakes himself out of the pain.

“What can I get you to drink?” He asks Gwen, headed towards the kitchen.

“I’m not thirsty,” she admits, her eyes still on the door.  

Regina and Mal are behind them, but they moved slowly, so slowly, and Robin thinks they might have needed a talk.

“She’s coming, Gwen.” He gives her the assurance and fuck it, he’s going to make a pot of tea anyway.  Tea is calm.  Tea is soothing.  Tea is good.

It’s just heating up when Mal walks in.  And he sees Gwen tense, staring at her, nervous.

“You can’t do that to me,” She says, her voice shaking, “you can’t just disappear like that.  I care about you too much.  Even if you hate me—”

“I don’t hate you,” Mal sighs taking a seat on the couch.  “But we were over.  You said so.”

“I said no such thing.”  Gwen is angry now, her accent is thicker, it’s something Robin’s noticed about her.  When she’s excited, or scared, or angry, any emotion in excess, it seems to come out a bit more.  

It’s ungodly sexy at times, but now, now it’s just sweet, and a little sad.  

“You said we were never going to work if I didn’t make things right with my parents.”

“Well, if you forbid me from seeing my parents we certainly would not work.” Gwen snaps back.  “But something tells me you weren’t going to do that.”

“No,” Mal sighs, “But, if you need your parents, you can’t have me.  They don’t like me.  It’s only a matter of time before they make you choose.  And I know your choice.”

“You don’t know my choice, apparently.”  Gwen sits down next to her, while Regina makes a beeline for the kitchen.  “I would choose you.  I would always choose you.”

“Still?” Mal asks,  her voice so strained, so hopeful and hurt at the same time.

“Yes,” Gwen says.  “Always.  I never meant this as a breakup.”

“You hurt me.   _They_ hurt me.  Watching them hurt you _really_ hurt me.  And you just took their side.  And they hate me.  I just thought… what other things will you take their side on?” Mal grimaces.

Robin waits for the kettle to boil, desperate to get them their tea, and then maybe to give them some space, he and Regina can have a walk in the cold.  Anywhere but here, god this is so personal.

“I don’t think my parents hate you, and if they did its none of my business.  And _meu bem_ , I always am on your side.  Even when we are fighting, even when you are angry at me.  We still are on your side. I told them I was in love with you months ago.  I love you.  You are the most important person in my life.  And I know my parents can be hurtful—” Gwen says that last sentence quickly, as if anticipating the reaction.

“They are cruel to you.  I hate it.  You deserve better.”  Sure enough, Mal interrupts bluntly, and Robing almost laughs at her protectiveness.

“They are my _parents._  We have history.  Let me handle it in my own way.  Even if you feel I'm too forgiving of them.  Please.” Gwen asks.  “I love you, I love that you defend me, but I have to handle them on their own.  It’s complicated.  I love them, and I don’t very like them very much all at once.”

Robin should not be staring at him, but they are in their own world, and he can’t avert his eyes from them.

He sees Mal, nervously looking at the floor, inspecting her nails, then running them up her palms.  It’s so unlike her, these fidgety movements.

“I don’t feel very loved when they are around.” Mal admits candidly.

She’s so beautiful when she’s honest, it takes his breath away.   So painfully pretty.  He wants to wrap her in a blanket, tell her it will all be okay, and kiss her passionately at the same time.

The kettle whistles and pops him back to reality.  He can’t just watch them get back together (god he hopes they get back together).  He has to make them tea, and figure out a way to leave them some space.  He turns around to find that Regina already has already taken out the mugs and cream and sugar.  

He makes tea quick and carries everything out on a little tray.  He deposits on the coffee table and he suddenly feels like a middle school chaperone.

“I thought tea might be good for a cold day,” he explains uselessly.  

“Thank you,” Gwen smiles.  “For everything.”

“I… um, just remembered, that I left my sweater at the restaurant, Robin,” Regina says unconvincingly, walking towards them.  “I loved that sweater.  I need it.”

She’s lying, he realizes that.  He’s fairly certain she didn’t even bring a sweater to begin with.  But it’s a good excuse together out of here, to leave Gwen and Mal.

“Well then we should probably go get it.” He says with a thin smile.  And then he nods at Mal and Gwen.  “You two stay here.  Make yourselves at home.”

“We’ll be back later.” Regina says with a nod.  And she leans in and kisses Mal on the brow, grabbing  Gwen’s hand and squeezing it, looking intently into her eyes that way she does that makes you feel like you're on top of the world.  Regina's eye contact, those meaningful looks, always convey so much.  there's so much power in her expressions.

Mal nods her head, looking thankful for the privacy, and Gwen looks more uncomfortable, asking him if he’s sure, if he might rather them leave.

He squeezes his wife’s hands as they head towards the door, grabbing their coats as they do.  

.::.

There’s anxiety brewing at the pit of her stomach, and she’s thankful to get out of their apartment and just breathe.  

Robin’s arm is around her the moment they step outside, warding away the chill in the February air.

“Alright?” he asks, and she wonders if he is okay himself, the way he sounds, a bit soft, concern, but vulnerable.

“I'm… conflicted.” Regina admits, rounding the corner.  “Coffee shop?”

She doesn’t have to tell him that there is no missing sweater; she knows he is aware she was just making an excuse.  So he just nods, and takes her inside.  They order large coffee — his a dark roast that he takes black and sweetened with two sugars.  She orders a nonfat vanilla latte with plenty of foam, and a pastry for them to split, just because she could use something sweet to pick up her mood.  They grab a spot by the window, and Robin grabs at her hand immediately.  It’s not a natural action, the way he does it, it’s almost needy.

Or maybe he’s just worried about her.

“I’m fine,” she assures, tapping his palm with her free hand.  “I want them back together, I do, I just… it’s a bit hard being the one to bring them back.  I know I have no right to want her to stay single for us, but…”

“I know,” Robin assures.  His hand is still on top of hers, and she feels worry dripping from him but can’t place the source.  She wiggles her hand around, anyway, twists so she can thread finger through and hold his, taking a sip with her free hand.

“They’re going to get through this, it seemed like that anyway.  Mallory is just sensitive.”

“They’ll get through it,” Robin says rather definitively.  “She came all the way out here for her, and Mal didn’t run away.  I just…. I can’t believe it got to that point over something they could have easily talked through.

Regina chuckles darkly.  “Mal isn’t used to a real relationship.  She spent most of her life alone.”

“She loved you,” Robin reminds.  

“And never told me, until nearly a decade later,” Regina reminds.  “She let me go easily.  I never knew.  She never really knew how I felt either.  I guess we just… well, we’re similar when it comes to these things.”

That’s apparently sobering for for Robin, has him looking at her, pain in his eyes.  

“Robin?” she asks.

“I don’t know what I’d do if you left me like that.” He says, blowing out a puff of air as he does, as if he’s been holding the words in for hours.

That’s it.  That’s what is really going on.  She thinks back to his home life, to what she’s heard, to a little boy walking home and finding every trace of his father ripped from their home, a few hanging cords from appliances and empty hangers the only sign he had ever been there.  And god, that was painful, as a child.  She can understand worrying that others  were suddenly going to disappear the way his father once did.

So she grabs his hand, holds it in both of hers, and presses a kiss into his palm.  

“I’m never going to leave you, Robin.”

“You two are similar.” He repeats.  Regina thinks back and winces, because it’s true.  They are.  Or were. “I don’t want you to ever think I don’t love you, or that you’re not special to me.  You’re precious to me, for all our fun, all the other people and things we do, it’s all nothing if you’re not with me.”

“I know,” she whispers, “I feel the same.  Truly.”  She wants to be that annoying couple now, wants to scoot her chair around to the other side of the table and hug him, long and hard.  But it’s not them, not even in this moment, so, she runs her hand up his arm, soothing him as she can with her touch.  

You tell me if I ever do anything, tell me exactly—” He’s a bit choked up, and shit, she didn’t expect this at all.

“Robin, it’s okay. I’ll tell you.  I promise.  And you do the same?”

He nods.  “I will.  Sorry, we have a lot of fun, but sometimes I feel like we don’t… I don’t really _tell_ you how much you mean to me, how much you matter, and— ”

“You do,” She assures, “I know how much you love me.”

“You could take it all away, we could be monogamous tomorrow, and I’d still be insanely happy with you.”  He says slowly and carefully.   He wants her to see the truth in this, she thinks.

“I don’t need any of that either.” Regina frowns, then searches for his eyes.  “Do you want to, for a time, just give it up?  We can.  I had no idea you were feeling uncertain about us.  Is it something I did or said, or—”

“No, I don’t want to give all this up.”  He chuckles, grabs at her hand and kisses her palm.  “I love all of this with you.  I just don’t want anything between us unsaid.  I almost fucked things up last night, you _know_ if we had gone there with Mal it would have been a mess.  And I worry sometimes if that maybe we don’t work without her, so if we lose her, I could lose you too.”

“No,” Regina says quickly, “I’d be devastated if I did something to hurt our friendship.  And you know I was a willing participant last night, it wasn’t on you.  But you’re…. She has Gwen, and I have you.  We might all feel connected but I know, I know I feel more for you than I do for her.  And she…” Regina takes a deep breath, and settles herself.  Saying it out loud has brought a sense of peace to her day.  “The most important person in her life in Gwen.  They aren't a part of us, and our marriage. What happens with them will never break us, okay?”

Robin smiles and stands for a second, leaning over the table to kiss her brow.

“Alright.  Important conversation over with.” Robin says with a burst of teasing energy, but she doesn’t miss the way he wipes his hand over his eyes, quickly.  They are wet, shining a bit, even in the dull light of this place.  “On to makeup sex.  Will you accompany me to the family restroom, milady?”

Regina giggles and rolls her eyes.  “I actually want to be able to show my face in here again.  Give me a raincheck on that.”

Robin shrugs.  “Worth a shot, though, right?”

Regina shrugs and lifts her coffee to her lips.  Still nice and hot, thank god.  

“It’s a nice thought, but let’s bookmark that for later tonight.  Until then… do you think we should catch a matinee?” she asks, grinning at him from ear to ear.

The theater is only a few blocks away, and they catch an early showing of some nonsense movie she doesn’t even care about.  But for a few hours, she get to snuggle with her husband in the dark, and have a cliche, boring, vanilla date with the man she loves.

And she loves every second of it.

.::.

Robin actually knocks when they get back to the apartment, three-and-a-half hours later.  He’s not sure whether they will still be fighting, or crying, or….making up.  He really doesn’t want to intrude on any of it (it wouldn’t be the first time Mal has fucked Gwen on his couch, after all).  

But he hears Mal laugh as she opens the door.  “This is your place.  You don’t have to knock, silly.” she says.

God, she looks better.  Her eyes are bright, her smile meets her eyes again.  She looks comfortable, happy.

“Where’s Gwen?” Regina asks, looking around.

“She’s… um, she’s at the hotel.”  Mal says quietly.  “My hotel, she’s um, dropping off her stuff, and she was going to squeeze in a nap.  I just wanted to wait around for you guys to thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank us for anything,” Robin assures.  “So are you all sorted out then?”

“I think so,” Mal says, biting her lip.  “I guess I have to be better at this communication thing Regina is always on after me about.” She shoots Regina a faux annoyed look.  “Gwen, um, she still wants to be with me, she still loves me.  Even if I did bitch her parents out and kick them out of their daughter’s home.”

Regina laughs.  “Some might find that level of protection endearing.”

“Yeah,” Mal nods, “I’ll remind her of that the next time I throw their suitcases out our front door.”

But it’s a joke, and Robin and Regina both know it, sharing a knowing smirk with her.

“She asked if we um, if we did anything, with one another, since I got here.  I told her what happened.  She was really relieved we stopped. I am so grateful for you. It would have hurt her.”

“I know,” Robin assures.  “No fucking if one of us is fighting with the others.  New rule.”

That draws out a little laugh, and then Mal is closing the distance between them, offering Robin a big hug.  

“Thank you for everything.  I mean it.  You always make me feel like this great catch, even when I’m feeling like utter crap.”

“You are a catch.” Robin runs his fingers through her hair, pressing a kiss to her brow.  “And very lovable.  Even when you are pretending to be a prickly loner.”

“Mmm, you two made me into a giant sap, I think.” Mal sighs.  

She breaks the hug and turns to Regina.

“I love you.  So, so much.  I know it wasn’t easy.  It wouldn’t have been for me, either.”  And Regina knows immediately what she's referring to.  It wouldn’t have been easy for Mal to help Regina get back to Robin, especially if she had thrown herself back into Mal’s arms and offered to move to LA.

“You would have done the same for us,” Regina reminds her.  Because she would have, she knows she would have.  

“Yeah,” Mal admits, holding her tight. “I would have.  And if you ever need me for anything—”

“I won’t think twice.” Regina sweeps a bit of her hair away, and plants a kiss on her cheek.  “I’ll wait for the uber with you downstairs.”

It’s cold, so cold, and dreary.  Their breath puffs out, in spirally strands of smoke as they wait for Mal’s car.

“Gwen took the week off.  We’re going to stay the week.  I think we might need to take some time for ourselves at first, but we’d love to see you, later on?”

Regina tries not to get her hopes up, and gives her a faint nod.  “I always want to see you.”

“You will,” Mal promises.  Her car rounds the block then, and she points to it.  “That’s me.”

They hug goodbye, Mal again promising to see in a few days, forbidding it from being a _real_ goodbye.  

The tightness in Regina’s chest is gone.  She can breathe again.  She feels _happy_ for Mal.  Everything seems to fit, to feel right.  

She walks back to her home, hugs her husband extra tight, and spends the rest of the day proving to him how much she loves him, how special he is to her, and will always be.  How thankful she is for all he’s given her, all the freedom he’s granted her, all the understanding he’s shown her, every last worry and fear he’s pressed down so she can be happy.  

She and Mal, they are right where they are meant to be.


End file.
